


we could be gods

by i_was_human



Series: lit fic week 2020 [2]
Category: Lost in Translation (Webcomic)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Dystopia, Angst, Dark, Homophobia, Hurt No Comfort, M/M, Mentions of Sex, Suicide, conversion therapy, feat: angsty boys angsting
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-17
Updated: 2020-08-17
Packaged: 2021-03-06 00:40:22
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,820
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25684420
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/i_was_human/pseuds/i_was_human
Summary: two stories told in the then and now overlap - one ending in tragedy, and one ending in joy.“If love be rough with you, be rough with love. Prick love for pricking and you beat love down.”-romeo and juliet
Relationships: Ahn Jaewon | Wyld/Junsu, Ahn Jaewon | Wyld/Kim Daehyun, Kang Dongho | D.Min/Lee Minsoo, Kim Daehyun/Im Youngjoon | Young J
Series: lit fic week 2020 [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1882828
Comments: 3
Kudos: 13





	we could be gods

**_then, -2_ **

"Do you know why they're afraid of us?" Minsoo asks, lips curling into a borderline manic smile.

"Why?"

He tilts his head - dull eyes catching the faint light filtering through the window - and stares at him, broken smile turning oh-so-slightly _dangerous_.

"Because we could be gods."

**_now_ **

Daehyun's not sure what to think when they drag in the new kid.

His hair is bright red - brighter than anyone else's, but Daehyun knows it'll fade in time - and piercings adorn his ears, a tattoo spiraling down his neck and disappearing beneath the collar of his shirt.

Other than that, though-

he's as screwed as they all are.

The kid raises his head, blinking curiously at the cell, and Daehyun tries for a smile.

(he was the popular kid, back before. back when he still went to school.

back when people weren't trying to _fix_ him.)

"Hey," he hums, and the kid blinks at him, scrambling back until his back slams into the cell door. "Hey, hey- I'm not gonna hurt you."

"I don't believe you."

He has a nice voice, Daehyun notes - airy and light, but also wholesome? Daehyun doesn't understand it either.

"Why would I?" Daehyun asks, gesturing to the bodysuit he sports - the same as New Kid's. "We're both prisoners here."

New Kid stares at him - gaze weighted with something Daehyun can't quite identify - and he edges away from the glass door, taking a few steps towards the bunk beds. "Who are you?"

"Daehyun," he simply replies. 

No family name.

(they're not part of families here.)

"And you?"

"Ah- Ahn Jaewon."

"Jaewon," Daehyun repeats, resting his chin on his hand. "Nice to meet you, Jaewon."

Jaewon stares at him for a moment - at his dark, scraggly hair and dull eyes - and he looks _afraid_.

"What... what happened to you?"

"Group therapy," Daehyun hums - though they all know what it _really_ is. "You'll see soon enough."

**_then, -365_ **

The first time Dongho sees Minsoo, all he can see is _W_ _rong_.

Minsoo spits in his face - silver hair hanging in his eyes and lips coated in bright red - and Dongho wipes it off, gesturing for his partners to pull the man away.

"Fuck you," Minsoo hisses, twisting and thrashing in the orderlies' grasps. " _Fuck you_ , capitalist piece of _shit_ -"

A tattoo curls around his wrist - a pair of names - and Dongho doesn't look, nor does he ask.

Why should he?

Minsoo is _Wrong_. Minsoo is _Wrong_ , and his job is to fix him. 

He can be fixed.

Dongho has to believe that.

_**now** _

"You're Wyld?"

Daehyun stares at the man in front of him - at his slender build, long hair, soft eyes - and he can see it. 

"I was," Jaewon clarifies, and Daehyun's lips quirk into a half-grin.

"I always dreamed of going to see you, y'know. Me and Joon - we were gonna see you together."

Jaewon blinks, cheeks pinking slightly. "What?"

"You've got a hell of a reputation," Daehyun adds, and Jaewon blinks once more, his blush deepening.

"Ah, I- I just-"

"You know how much people respect drag queens in Seoul?"

"I-"

"Of course you wouldn't," Daehyun muses, reaching up to rake a hand through his hair. "You guys- you guys are _incredible_."

"Ah, not- not really."

Jaewon fidgets with the ends of his hair - it's growing out black, but it still looks stunning - and smiles, soft and a bit embarrassed. "I don't- I don't do very intensive performances-"

"That's not it."

Daehyun leans forwards, resting his elbows on his knees, and he grins - sharp and mischievous.

"What you guys - what _TEMPLE_ is doing - is a slap in the face to all the people who call us Wrong. That we need to be _fixed_."

Jaewon blinks at him, bewildered. "How do you know about _TEMPLE_?"

"I was part of _MANIA_."

Jaewon's mouth falls open for a split second, and Daehyun nearly giggles.

"I don't look like it, do I? But yeah - I was the youngest member of _MANIA_. Me, Minsoo-hyung, Hyunjin-hyung, Taeseokkie, and Youngjoon - we tore up the streets."

(their names are still hard to say, even now.)

" _MANIA_ ," Jaewon echoes, seeming a bit shocked. " _Wow_. Wait- were you-"

"I was Day," Daehyun supplies, and Jaewon gawps at him. "This whole cell block has people who spit in the gov's face. Like Minyoung - she was the head of that lesbian biker gang. _MELLOW_ , I think they were called?"

"I've heard of them," Jaewon breathes, and Daehyun grins.

"Still - you're a celebrity among celebrities. _Everyone_ knows you - and everyone knows Jun, too."

Jaewon's expression flickers at that - and Daehyun's cruelly reminded of the look on that man's face.

_"You killed him!"_

_His hands gripping the collar of a jacket, dull black eyes staring at nothing, desperation mingling with fury as he screams, nobody making a move to pull him back-_

"You loved him."

The way Jaewon's expression crumples says far more than words ever could.

And _fuck_ , if Daehyun can't deal with anything else, he can sure as _fuck_ deal with this.

He doesn't say a word - instead opting to cross the room and pull Jaewon into his arms. The smaller man fits perfectly under Daehyun's chin, and he rubs his back, letting Jaewon sob into his chest ~~_like Minyoung did for him_~~ and wail nonsense, because even if the world is cruel and merciless for people like them, that doesn't mean Daehyun has to be.

" _It's not fair_ ," Jaewon sobs, shoulders shaking as grief takes over. "It's not- _not fair_ -"

"I know," Daehyun murmurs, carding his fingers through Jaewon's messy locks. "I know."

_**then, -364** _

For some reason, Dongho decides to look deeper.

Maybe it's the fact that he's heard from management that they're going to be testing new techniques.

Maybe it's out of some sort of righteous indignation - fury at what the man did.

(maybe it's a third box - one he won't let himself acknowledge.)

The information he pulls up is telling. Lee Minsoo, the leader of renegade group _MANIA_. _MANIA_ work in the seedy parts of town, ~~protecting~~ hiding the impoverished Wrong from them.

He'll be made into an example.

He digs a little deeper, finds a little more. _MANIA_ is a five member group (formerly six) busted in a raid on their headquarters. They're affiliated with _TEMPLE_ \- a famous drag bar in the Wrong sector of the city - but nobody's quite been able to track it down yet.

Do they want information, Dongho wonders, or pain?

(it's a little difficult to tell with his colleagues.)

"What're you looking at?"

Dongho raises his head, gaze landing on Minsung's silhouetted form.

And, well-

if Dongho _had_ to be caught by anybody, he'd rather it not be Minsung.

The head of this branch of the Wrong Correctional Department - or WCD - seems to have a personal vendetta against the Wrong, and nobody's ever been brave enough to ask what it is.

Still - anyone who's suspected of showing sympathy for the Wrong is more likely to find themselves in a body bag than in correctional therapy, so if Dongho keeps digging, he needs to do so surreptitiously.

(dropping this isn't an option at this point. dongho has to keep looking.)

"The new files," he states, flipping around his computer so Minsung can see. "I was thinking about the information we need to get."

"...did you come up with anything?"

There's a promise in Minsung's voice, Dongho notes - a _threat_.

_"Or were you interested in him for a different reason?"_

"I have a few ideas," Dongho replies, turning his gaze back to the screen. "If you want, I can handle the interrogation?"

"Park-ssi's in charge of therapy," Minsung states, and Dongho nods, resting his chin on his hand as he scrolls through a document. "We're hoping for quick results."

"Got it."

"You can run interrogation, I suppose," Minsung acquiesces, stuffing his hands into the pockets of his jacket. "Just... don't go easy on him."

There's something left unsaid there, but Dongho doesn't press.

_**now** _

As soon as the cell door slams shut, Daehyun jolts to his feet, catching Jaewon just as the redhead's legs give out.

"Park?" he asks, and Jaewon nods, a small, weak motion.

It's a well-known fact that Park is a sadist. He likes to focus his "efforts" on one person at a time, and to him, "fixing" someone is the same as turning them into an empty, emotionless shell.

Daehyun's seen it happen far too many times.

"It'll be okay," he whispers, hoisting the redhead into his arms and carrying him to his bunk. "You'll be okay."

Empty words, empty promises.

(it's funny how it feels like he's just repeating the same mistakes he made back then.)

"You're lying," Jaewon mumbles, reaching up to grasp the fabric of Daehyun's bodysuit. "He's gonna kill me."

 _"He won't,"_ Daehyun almost assures him - then thinks better of it.

After all-

how can he tell Jaewon that what Park _really_ does is make people hate themselves?

(he saw it, back then - saw the way _he_ would paint his wrists red, the way _he_ would try to die any way he could because the monsters in his head _wouldn't go away_ -)

"We'll get you out of here," he whispers, and _means it_.

(the gentle thrumming in his heart that beats in time with jaewon's breath won't accept anything else.)

Jaewon raises his head, dark eyes meeting his, and in that moment, Daehyun identifies just what that thrumming is.

Love in a place specially made to tear it out.

What a fucking fool his heart is.

_**then, -287** _

"You won't get anything out of me."

Minsoo's head lolls as he stares at the table, a snake drained of its venom but still breathing despite it.

(in some dark part of his mind, dongho wonders how long that will last.)

"Are you sure?"

Minsoo raises his head, tilts it to the side. 

"Wouldn't you like to know?"

 _There's_ the fire Dongho knows - the thing that drew him to this man so much in the first place.

(wrong. wrong wrong wrong wrong _wrong_ -)

"Call me curious."

"Call you masochist," Minsoo spits, the red "X" on the shoulder of his uniform gleaming in the bright lights. "You're like us, aren't you? Wanting a glimpse into the world you're too afraid to enter?"

Dongho blinks at him, pushing his glasses up his nose. "That's not it."

"You're a fool, too, then," Minsoo grins - sharp, predatory. "When was it, _Dongho-ssi_?"

He spits his name like a swear, and a part of Dongho wonders what it would be like if he were to savor it.

"Was it the day you realized you couldn't get off to girls?"

"This isn't a productive conversation-"

"Oh, I bet you've been to those clubs in the South End," Minsoo continues, tilting his head to the side so the ceiling lights catch his eyes. "Of course you have. What's your type?"

" _Minsoo-ssi_ -"

"Oh, so _now_ it's my name?"

Minsoo tilts his head, some sort of sadistic pleasure flashing in his eyes. "Damn, _Dongho-ssi_ , if I knew all I had to do to get you to call me _Minsoo_ was to expose the _truth_ , I would've done it sooner."

"You have no idea what you're talking about."

"Don't I?"

Minsoo leans as far across the table as his cuffs allow, his nose brushing Dongho's as the guards race toward the room. 

"I know how people like us look," he whispers, and Dongho catches sight of a tattoo on his neck - a pair of birds diving towards his collarbone. "I'm _related to one_."

_**now** _

"Tell me about them?"

Jaewon is small in Daehyun's arms - his flowing hair cropped to just below his ears - and Daehyun wraps his arms around his chest, burying his nose into the redhead's hair.

"There was Hyunjin-hyung," he starts, because that's the only place he _can_. "He was our head of communications - always making sure people were safe if he couldn't run the mission himself."

Jaewon hums, letting Daehyun know he's listening.

"There was Taeseokkie," Daehyun continues, "our youngest. He and Hyunjin-hyung - they joined together. They had a _thing_. They would both talk in English sometimes, if they were saying things they didn't want the rest of us to hear, and Taeseok- he looked at Hyunjin-hyung like he'd hung the moon."

Jaewon nods, and Daehyun tries to swallow around the lump in his throat.

"He... he turned us in. For Hyunjin-hyung."

Silence reigns supreme for a moment.

"There was Kyunghun," Daehyun mumbles, old grief rising in his chest. "He died before I joined - got captured by WCD and shot himself in the head before they could make him give up our location."

 _"Sometimes I wish Taeseok had done the same,"_ goes unsaid.

"There was- there was Minsoo-hyung. He and I- we were cellmates. Before you, he was Park's personal project."

"What... what happened to him?"

"He died," Daehyun simply states, and leaves it at that.

"...who else?"

"Youngjoon."

The name alone brings tears to his eyes.

"He was my everything," Daehyun whispers, reaching up to scrub his cheeks. "And I was his."

"...he sounds wonderful."

They're painfully empty words, and they both know it.

"He died," Daehyun breathes, the words barely managing to escape his throat. "Killed himself."

( _i sometimes wish i had gone with him._ )

_**then, -235** _

"...Minsoo-ssi?"

"Stop calling me that."

Minsoo's unwashed hair hangs in front of his eyes, eclipsing the desperate expression Dongho knows he wears. 

"You don't respect me. Don't act like you do."

Dongho stares at him, unsure of what to say.

(how do you tell someone their existence makes your heart race? that they're a puzzle you want to solve?

if this is love, it's a sick, twisted brand.)

"I do respect you," he finally replies, and Minsoo barks a laugh.

"Oh, you _are_ rich. What could you respect?"

( _your drive, your devotion, your will, your strength, your cunning-_ )

"Everything," he simply replies, and Minsoo's eyes spark with something bordering dangerously on interest.

"Everything?"

 _"Don't get involved with them,"_ Dongho remembers, Minsung's warning words fresh in his mind. _"They're Wrong."_

(if this is wrong, he privately thinks, then why does his heart sing?)

"I couldn't get the boy to kill me," Minsoo states with the air of someone quoting another, and Dongho stares at him, bewildered. " _Little Beast_. You've never read it."

It's not a question.

"You live such a whitewashed life," Minsoo muses, leaning in to rest his chin on his hand. "Do you think my death would make it colorful?"

(he talks about death as an inevitability, he writes.

not-

he talks about poetry.

he loves constellations and fast cars.

he has a brother.

he wants to fly away from this town.

no-

all that matters to them is how much _progress_ he's making.

and for the first time, dongho wonders-

is it progress at all?)

_**now** _

As is the case with everything, Daehyun just needs to call in favors.

Someone to distract the guards. Someone to hold the exit.

It's not a moment too soon.

Every day Jaewon goes to "therapy", he comes back more and more empty, slowly slipping into a hollow shell of who he was.

And _god_ , Daehyun isn't naive enough to think _love_ can fix this. 

(not when jaewon cries for "jun" in the dead of night.)

Still-

he tries.

Jaewon's lips taste like blood from where he bites them, skin torn to shreds, and it's equal parts a desperate plea and a moot point when Daehyun presses their lips together, fingers bruising as he grips onto his forearms in hopes of tethering him to the here and now.

(it's always the ones who flirt with starlight that hit the ground the hardest.)

_**then, -143** _

Kissing Minsoo feels like swallowing kerosene.

It's the only time he's alive - when his hands thread through Dongho's hair, when he bites his lower lip with pent-up rage and fury and _hatred_ , when the things everyone says overwhelm him and he takes solace in finding that he is _Right_.

A proper noun.

(one not meant to be applied here, but-

they're breaking all the rules, aren't they?)

"Proper," Minsoo whispers, brown-silver hair dangling in his eyes. "You're breaking all the rules, Dongho-ssi."

"You respect me?" Dongho teases, and Minsoo rolls his eyes.

"As much as you do me."

(somehow, dongho thinks, minsoo doesn't know just how much that is.)

_**now** _

"We saw you on the cameras."

Park rounds the bed, coming to stand behind his head, and Daehyun strains against his bonds, twisting in hopes that it'll remove some of the electrodes from his body.

"I suppose you think you're quite smart."

Daehyun holds his quips behind his gritted teeth, refusing to give this snake of a man the glory of a response.

"I won't have you ruin my successes," Park growls, and _oh_ , Daehyun understands.

(it's never been about fixing them.

it's because nobody cares that they're gone.

they can pick up the wrong all they fucking please under the guise of _fixing them_ and nobody bats an eye.)

Meetings with the other _therapists_ are simple - Daehyun cooks up some bullshit lie about seeing the error of his ways, and the therapists scribble notes on their pathetic little pads, and they all try and pretend like Daehyun's going to leave here alive and not in a body bag - but Park is a sadist, and he _acknowledges it_.

"You make bodies," Daehyun spits, and Park turns up the voltage, letting him lose himself in his screams.

_**then, -25** _

"My own success story," Park touts, puffing out his chest and tilting up his chin.

Dongho tries not to look at the circles under Minsoo's eyes.

_**now** _

"We're going to make it out."

Jaewon's hands shake - too much for such little time - and Daehyun winds an arm around his shoulders, pulling the lithe boy into his side. 

"They're going to transfer me tomorrow," he whispers, low enough that the cameras won't be able to pick it up. "We're leaving tonight. I asked Taeseok and Hyunjin to make a distraction."

(taeseok accepted - in some fucked-up sort of penance, daehyun thinks. some way of pretending that this makes things better.

in its own twisted way, it does.

and, well-

taeseok told him what they're going to do, and daehyun's at least glad that he's getting what he wants, even if it's death.)

"How?" Jaewon whispers, and Daehyun quirks a brow, bending down in front of him to stare into his dark eyes.

"Hm?"

"How can you look at me?"

And _oh_ , Daehyun should've known-

Jaewon is no Minsoo.

He leans in to press a kiss to Jaewon's lips - soft, tender, lingering - and Jaewon lets him, lets him run a thumb over his cheekbones, lets him run his free hand through his hair. 

"You're stunning," Daehyun murmurs, and Jaewon's eyes widen at the show of bravado.

(it's what youngjoon said. what youngjoon always said to make daehyun feel like the most special person in the world.)

"So stunning," Daehyun murmurs, reaching up to cup Jaewon's face with his hands. "Let me show you."

_**then, -5** _

"How does that poem end?"

Minsoo pulls back, dark circles rimming dull eyes, and his lips curl into a cracked smile. 

"How does it?" he repeats, a silent request in the words, and Dongho knows how this was always meant to end.

("i love you" always goes unsaid - too many emotions placed in too little words.

 _"let me show you,"_ they always say instead, sparkling eyes meeting dull ones.

 _"let me show you_ _,"_ minsoo says the night he makes his decision, the night he asks dongho for a razor to paint the white walls in arrays of color, and dongho never responds.

he never has to.

he's never going to be able to say no, no matter how wrong it is.)

_**now** _

Lights blare as Daehyun and Jaewon sprint through the hallways, a dizzying array of white walls and meaningless posters spread out in front of them.

Jaewon follows as Daehyun tugs him forwards, bare feet slapping on tile, and around them, guards shout empty phrases - _return to your cells, you know what you've done_ \- and none of them care.

"This is right," Daehyun whispers, tightening his grip on Jaewon's hand. "We're right."

Jaewon stares at him, eyes wide and vulnerable, and Daehyun smiles, _so easily able_ to imagine a life at the seaside with this man.

"We're right," he echoes, and Daehyun's smile only grows.

"We're right."

_**then, 0** _

Minsung slams Dongho into the wall, fists balled up in the collar of his shirt, and Dongho meets his gaze, unwavering.

" _How dare you_!" he shrieks, and Dongho doesn't move. 

"I saved him."

" _You killed him!_ "

Dongho meets his gaze, expression empty (as empty as minsoo's blood vessels, left to bleed out in the bathroom by a well-timed shift change) and his lips curl into a dull grin. 

"You ever been to those clubs in the South End?"

(he can imagine minsoo under those multicolored lights - silver hair shining as he moves to the beat, eyes sparkling as he laughs-)

Minsung howls, a horrific, wordless scream, and he slams his fist into Dongho's cheek, forcing the taller man's head to the side.

" _Wrong_ ," he spits, and Dongho grins - the same sharp, predatory one he first fell in love with.

"Don't throw stones in a glass house, Minsung-ah."

Minsung releases his collar and takes a step back - _something_ shining in his eyes.

"You," he whispers, wiping his hands on his slacks, "are _Wrong to the core_."

Dongho hums, tucking his pencil back behind his ear. "I'm not afraid of you, Minsung-ah."

"You should be," Minsung warns, and Dongho tilts his head, a grin playing on his lips.

"Don't take it personally, Minsung-ah. I'm not afraid of anything, now."

And in the end-

Minsung finds out why.

Red-tinted bathwater and red-painted cheeks-

Dongho never had any intention of living.

( _"we won't be in the history books,"_ he wrote, _"but i always did love romeo and juliet."_ )

_**now** _

Daehyun steps onto grass for the first time in years, and he can't help but laugh.

The stars overhead shine bright, and Jaewon grips his hand, constellations reflecting in his pupils.

He's _out_.

They're _out_ and they're _free_ and they can- they can go _anywhere_.

They're _free_.

"I love you," Daehyun whispers, pulling Jaewon into his arms and holding him as tightly as he dares. "God, Jae- _I love you_."

Jaewon stares at him for a moment, something flickering in his eyes, and after a moment, he smiles - soft, weak, but still a smile.

"Thank you, Dae," he breathes, voice impossibly softer than the wind. " _Thank you._ "

It's going to be an uphill battle, Daehyun feels-

but at least it's one that'll be worth it.

"We're okay," Daehyun whispers, reaching up to thread his fingers through Jaewon's hair. "We're okay."

Jaewon smiles at him - gentle in a way the facility never would've permitted - and he leans forwards to catch Daehyun in a kiss.

_"We'll be okay."_

**Author's Note:**

> the poem minsoo quotes is little beast by richard siken
> 
> some things that didn't make it into this au:  
> minsoo left home at 13 to found mania and minsung's hated him for it ever since  
> hyunjin and taeseok's distraction was having sex on a cafeteria table  
> it incited a riot  
> they did not care  
> daehyun and youngjoon dated for two years before youngjoon killed himself during the raid on mania's headquarters  
> jaewon and daehyun move to the us and get two cats and a house by the beach  
> dongho loved classical plays as much as fairy tales  
> "park" is the ceo's name  
> mellow escape in the chaos caused by the riot and start working in the south side again  
> originally minsung was the leader of mania but i made it minsoo bc i thought minsung would work better as an antagonist
> 
> [twit](https://twitter.com/i_was_human_) | [lit fic discord!](https://discord.gg/CNunB74)


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